Saturday, October 30, 2010

Just a small update....

Had to share this, short and sweet...

I got on the scale today and I'm at THE number I never thought I would see. That's right, the big 300...actually, I'm 0.2 pounds UNDER it, thank you..

So, I got the courage to try on the smaller jeans I bought for $2.50 at the second-hand store uptown. They're on! Just wish the "muffin top" wasn't present, but it won't be there long!

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Wow. :)

I have lost 20 pounds! I can't believe it. It's been such an amazing experience. I'm over feeling deprived (though, I have my moments when the work break room is full of cupcakes!) because I'm getting my chocolate cheesecakes and tons of great food (OMG...the broccoli cheese potato is my favorite after a long day at work).

What I still find really hard to wrap my head around is that my clothes aren't, like, falling off. I always thought that 20 pounds would be a huge difference. But, this time, it's not that noticeable. Maybe it's because the weight is coming off the "right" way and is melting away more proportionately...I don't know. Either way, I'm kind of glad, because...I don't have the money to buy new clothes for each size I go through. Speaking of...I found a pair of Lane Bryant jeans in a smaller size for $2.50 at a local second-hand store. Hope someone keeps donating...because, I'm going to need more! And, I really wish they would donate some scrubs, but...I digress.

I look at my motivation board (a bulletin board I've covered in paperclips, pictures and simulated photos of what I will look like after I reach my goal) and just can't believe it's actually happening.

I guess it helps to have the right motivation, you know? I mean, it took a tough discussion with my boyfriend about his family and a big fall and serious injury to wake me up. But, it's worked. I'm determined to make some serious changes in my life...and my nutrition is just the beginning. Once I'm back to 100%, my body will be the next step. But, I have to say....this journey really began long before the discussion, the fall and Jenny Craig.

It all started when I realized that I had some serious issues I needed to figure out and get help working through. In July of this year, I began seeing a psychologist, Jen. She's wonderful. But, she made me realize that I was normal...hurting and feeding that hurt the wrong way, handling stress the wrong way, etc. When I finally talked to her about starting JC, she told me..."you already, it's just time to work on the food piece of the equation." SHE WAS SO RIGHT!

Losing weight is like overcoming any addiction. Food was my "go to" when I got stressed, sad, angry...and because of some deep hurts, I felt like that ALOT. And, with Jen's help, I learned when to identify my emotional eating and its triggers. Then, when I was ready to actively lose the extra weight, half the battle was already underway :)

I'm so thankful that I called for help...from both Jen's in my life. My shrink and Jenny Craig. (gets confusing for my boyfriend at times..."which Jen are you talking about?")

Thursday, October 14, 2010

The rundown...

So, it's been awhile since I've sat down to write, and that's solely because of some other things that have been going on getting me down. Which reminds me of past times when I honestly thought life would be better "if only I wasn't fat..." totally not going to change the things in life that get us down! Injuries happen, BILLS happen, life is constantly going to throw us for a few loops along the way.

The REAL issue is how we DEAL with those loops. And, I'm sooo proud of myself for sticking with my program DESPITE the loops life has thrown lately. I've definitely been feeling "down," and have been battling some very negative thoughts...but, for the first time in my life, I did NOT turn to food for comfort. I still don't know how I managed it. But, I'm hoping that it's a good sign of future success with Jenny and my weight loss.

Onto the less depressing stuff...

I am VERY happy to report that I have had my second "Milestone" visit...and am down a total of 16 pounds and 5.5 inches! All in 8 weeks. Amazing. I'm so grateful to have found this program and see the success.

But, what's weird, is that I don't FEEL like I'm losing. I can tell my clothes are getting baggier (I kept tripping on my pant leg the other day!), but...I just don't SEE it. I don't see ANY change in my face...which I really expected to see by now. I'm guessing that "it" moment isn't going to happen for a few more months...I just don't know what that "it" moment is going to look like...I don't know when it's going to feel "real."

I started a motivation board in hopes that seeing some results everyday would help me stay focused. I think it's working! It all started because my paperclip dispenser was waaaay too full. Well, I had more than 100 silver paperclips, so I made 5 chains of 20. They're each on the board, and with every pound I lose, I take one off. Then, I add one colorful and fun-shaped paperclip to a new chain. It's fun to see that chain get longer :) I've also got my blue ribbon from my milestone visits...showing how many inches have come off :) I heart my board :)

I just wish that the feeling I get when I look at the board would transfer over to the way I view my body soon...I don't know how much longer I can stand not FEELING like this is happening.