Monday, August 30, 2010

Week Two...done!

Well, week two was not as great. But, I'm to blame for a lot of that. The good news? I didn't gain! And, I DID lose!

So, what was different this week?

Well, I'm still not able to work out, but today I DID finally get the OK to at least do a stationary bike :) yay! And, last week was my "time of the month (TOM)," and I have a lot of pain with my TOM, so I really had a hard time getting my calories in...and, I didn't drink enough water.

You see? It's all about following the program!

I did lose 0.8 pounds, bringing my total in two weeks to 6.4 pounds. I'm happy with that. And, I talked to my Jenny Craig Consultant (JCC), and we literally pasted together a menu that I am going to follow TO A" T" this week. I'll have to let you know how it goes :)

Monday, August 23, 2010

What a Week!

So, I have finished one week on Jenny Craig. Keeping in mind that I was injured (still) and off work (again) this week, I could not workout at all. I was not really expecting much of a loss on the scale this week. Boy, was I wrong! I lost 5.6 pounds!! OMG!!!

I love the food--it really is "so good!" No one on those commercials was lying...and I even made really good choices when I ate out without planning on it! I'm so stinking proud of myself that I could a good way!

I called my BF right after I left the JC center with my second week's worth of meals crying because I couldn't believe what the scale showed!

I'm looking sooo forward to next week's weigh-in. I'm wondering how being more and more active will change things.

And, I got a niece...who's adorable :)

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Day One...done!

So, day one on Jenny Craig food....whoa. I can't tell you how often I thought "oh my gosh, I have to eat again!" Amazing!

This morning, I went to the grocery store and got some fruits and veggies: broccoli, cauliflower, celery, salad bags (on sale due to short date--but they'll be gone in two days!), strawberries (I can eat a whole CUP of sliced strawberries...yum!), grapes (another fave!) and frozen broccoli/carrot mixes that will steam in the microwave (had to stock up, they were on sale!)

Tonight's supper takes the cake, though. The portions on Jenny are smaller than I would pick for myself, but I swear that the portion of fettucine alfredo is bigger than the Lean Cuisine option...and mixed with steamed broccoli and carrots, served with another salad (I love salad!) makes for a BIG meal.

I still have to eat another snack sometime tonight...but, it's already 9pm! Did you catch that? I said "have" to eat...amazing!

Loving JC so far! :)

Starting Out

To start, let's be clear: I have ALWAYS been fat. I remember my mother taking me to Weight Watchers in third grade...THIRD GRADE! What kind of message does that send!?! Oh well, what's done is done...but, as you can see, I'm still needing to lose weight. So, obviously, WW doesn't work when you have someone fixing all your food for you and not really learning anything about how to eat.

But, that's still not what got me to 330 pounds. What got me to this point is that I never learned to cope with feelings of depression, anxiety, sadness...even happiness and joy...without FOOD. I'm an emotional eater. It's not something I'm proud of, but it's something I have

So, after years of being unhappy with my body and trying (and failing!) so many weight loss programs or diets--weight watchers (a few times as an adult), Atkins, South Beach, Protein Power, Slim Fast, you name it--I've decided that I need to try something I've put off for quite some time. Yesterday, I joined Jenny Craig.

It's something I always thought "would work for me," but the cost was a BIG issue. Now, I'm at a much more financially stable point in my life and...guess what? I've decided I'M WORTH THE INVESTMENT!!! That's a big step for someone like me. I've never put myself first. But, dammit, THAT is changing NOW.

Now, I didn't sign up for Jenny Craig without thinking about it for quite some time. I first signed up for their forums on over a year ago. I'd browse the forums, see how happy everyone was on the program and then sigh, thinking "well, maybe someday..." F that! My someday is today!

There are some amazing transformations on those boards! And, they are people who have kept the weight off! And, we're not talking about people who've only kept off 20 or so pounds...we're talking over 100 pounds lost! Right where I need to be, too!

So, today is day one with the JC food. Right now, I'm off to the grocery store to pick up my fruits and veggies for the week. I'll let you know how my first day went later on today.

Monday, August 16, 2010

First Consultation

Today was my consultation with JC. I went to my normal therapy appointment and she was so proud of me for things that had happened (or not!) that week. I then brought up that I was thinking of starting JC. She said that technically speaking, I’d already started…by going to her and starting to work through the emotional eating. (yay, me!)

So, after that appointment, I was jazzed! And, I called the JC Center and asked to move my consultation up by a day. I did, it went great (except that whole weighing-in thing…but that will change, right?), and brought home my JC food. Tomorrow, I’ll have to go to the grocery store for my fruits and veggies, but I’m amped about the program as a whole. For those who have not seen them, the forums on are amazing and full of motivating people who have posted before/after pics! Total motivation!

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Deciding to DO IT

So, today I called Jenny Craig. I wanted to call just to find out what their hours were. Since I work 12 hour shifts, and have set appointments during the week, I had to know if it was even going to be possible to go to a center.

The first person I talked to was Kathleen, she was with a client, so she took my name and number and called me back. The call back came from Whitney, who asked some questions…including the infamous “why do you think you’re ready now?” So, I told her….I’ve been overweight forever, but it took three EMTs to pick my fat ass up after spraining BOTH ankles just walking off a damned step…”Ah, so you’ve had your wake up call. We’ve all been there.”

But the real wake up call came last Tuesday night. My BF and I were talking about moving in together, and it came out (though I had suspected it looooong before this) that he knew his parents would not accept me because of my weight. And, that he “knew” that his parents wouldn’t get past it to get to know me. The hurt I felt knowing that one day soon, he was going to feel the need to defend me to his PARENTS or worse, choose one over the other, was just too much. He deserves better than that. In a way, I’ve always known he deserves someone better than me….but I’m now determined to BE that someone.

My concern was that I would get a counselor that has only lost, like, 30 pounds. I mean, come on! I weigh 320…I need someone who’s been where I am and has gone where I’m going. Whitney told me that I would meet with her for my consultation, and then could meet Katiana (who’s lost 70+) and Barb (a new hire, starting Monday, who’s lost over 100). That’s exciting for me to hear.

Now, I say I called Jenny….but that doesn’t tell you that I’ve been stalking the JC forums for a year or so before calling…I think it was seeing Sara Rue’s newest commercial (post-50-pound loss, go girl!) and hearing the emotion in her voice at the end that did it. Having always been a fan, I can relate to her in some respects (though, thankfully for her, she’s never been as heavy as I am).

Next stop—seeing Jennifer, my psychologist on Monday (the day before my appointment at JC). I need to start talking about my self-sabotoging ways. I mean, come on…let’s be honest. I’m 31, and have been over 200 pounds for over 10 years. I’ve never stayed with anything…I always end up binging on foods I’ve bought at the store (I mean, you can always go buy more chips, right?), stop exercising (it is TOO damned early!), bought new clothes (I’ll never lose the weight anyway, might as well…). I’m DONE.

Things I want:
--to cross my legs!
--to sit in a movie theatre AND FIT
--to not dread going out in public because of fat jokes I’ll undoubtedly hear
--to sing Karaoke without worrying about how many people are making “fat lady singing” jokes
--to FEEL SEXY…even naked!
--to buy scrubs that are actually CUTE, not boring one-color numbers just because they’re in my size.
--to NOT shy away from cameras
--to be the “hot/cool/fun” aunt to my niece and nephew.
--to not put off vacations because of plane seats or fear of swimsuits.
--to go up stairs without getting out of breath or simply hurting
--to care for my patients without having to move things out of the way just to fit.
--to educate my patients as a model of health…not someone who just “talks the talk.”