Friday, April 8, 2011

Crying in the fitting "OMG" moment

So, again I've been MIA. Gotta tell ya, just haven't felt like I've got any insight to offer...until now. Hopefully, this will help someone else see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Today, I had my next-to-last meeting with my JCC, Barb, because I'll soon be moving to a new area. Talk about overwhelming! As if leaving your hometown and family isn't enough to stress about, now I have to worry about some new consultant that doesn't know me? Ugh!

But, being as great as she is, Barb called the Jenny Craig center near where I'm moving and talked to the program director. She thinks that they have someone that will be a good match for me...and her name is Barb, as well. I'm having some "New Adventures of Old Christine" type thoughts. ha ha

So, with the talk of moving, let me tell you that this whole new lifestyle is kind of making it more stressful than it would have been without it. I mean, when you're getting ready to move, you generally stop buying groceries and eat out more, just so you don't have a bunch of food to move...well, you can't do that when you're in the program at the stage I'm at. Not only do I have to figure out how to get my whole life in a truck, but now I have to figure out when to get my food and how to get it up there without having to add some huge cooler to the mix of boxes and furniture! ew!

But, Barb #1 and I came up with a plan...and that helped alot! She told me that the days of the move will be hard to follow plan, encouraged me to focus on making the best choices possible during the driving and moving, and to forgive myself when I don't follow the plan 100% during those few stressful days. Love her!

Now, back to my "OMG" Moment. This actually started a few days ago when there was a "scrub sale" at work. I went up to the sale and felt completely overwhelmed. I mean, I need new scrubs, but...seriously? $20 for a shirt that I may only wear for a couple of months? I don't think so! So, I came back down to the floor and mentioned that I have no idea what to get, because I didn't really have time to try things on that day. My friend and co-worker, Tanya, in her slight southern accent that has remained with her said, "yeah, Stace...I was gonna say, it's about that time..." while looking at my baggy-butt scrub pants (which, btw...I just bought a couple of months ago!)

So, after feeling better about everything going on in my life, and knowing I had some time to kill before meeting a friend for lunch, I went to the scrub store...and directly to the clearance section. I pulled a few pants and shirts that looked like they may go well together and went to the fitting room. Then, I had to go get...SMALLER PANTS?!?!?! I walked out frowning, not believing that I might actually need to get pants in a size XL, but I did it..."surely, they'll be too small, and I'm just in between sizes" I thought...

NOPE! Those suckers FIT! HOLY COW! Had anyone been outside the fitting room door, they would have heard the following comments: "you've got to be kidding...a 1X?...No way....(turn for a side view)...huh, I really am getting skinny!...weird! I don't get it....I can't believe it!" Basically, I sounded crazy. And, then, the tears started.

It finally happened. I SAW that I was becoming thinner. When I sit here, I don't FEEL like I'm that much thinner, but I SAW it in the mirror today! BTW-You'd be suprised how much better you look when clothes actually fit you...that's right, Stacey and Clinton were right all along!

Now, if only my therapist was still around (she moved to Colorado...which, I think should be illegal when relating to a therapist working with a client suffering from abandonment issues!) She once asked me when I thought I would have that "OMG I look different moment..." I never knew how to answer that question, and, I'm still wondering if I'll ever FEEL like that thinner person...

Oh well...I'm damned happy with what I saw today...except I bought more than I was going to and really want to go buy more!

1 comment:

  1. I know I've said it before... but, I'm so proud of you Stace... you are beautiful in every way! Love you!